Rebel With A Cause: How To Meet Internal & External Expectations & Build Good Habits When You Resist Everything

In short, it has been god awful frustrating.

All my life I've struggled against internal and external expectations never really understanding when and why I would meet resistance.

This includes simple & complex expectations as well as habits (exercise, family obligations, work tasks, all types of personal & professional goals, etc.)

Some of the times I encounter little to no resistance. Other times massive resistance despite knowing that meeting the expectation would be awesome for me and my life.

I didn't understand why sometimes it was easy and other times incredibly difficult (even when the expectation itself was fairly easy).

It's been like having a super powerful machine that only turns on sometimes. When it turns on it is incredibly efficient, diligent, and reliable. However, it only turns on sometimes no matter how I hard I "try." 

For some things, like exercising regularly, I have basically zero resistance and it is incredibly easy for me to do this every week with an almost fanatical zeal. This holds true for me whether the expectation comes from within myself or from an an outsider (people, society, etc.).

Yet, other things, like doing my taxes on time or early have been incredibly difficult. This is despite consciously knowing that it is in my best interest to get them done on time at the least.

I've often been bewildered by fact that I am so diligent with exercise, something many find difficult to stick to, and yet I still run into resistance for other things many would consider much easier than regular exercise.

Along the same vein, for the longest time I could not understand why I resisted great suggestions from my partner, family, and friends. A prime example of this is journaling. I always secretly wanted to be a writer. And yet I resisted my mother, partner, teachers, books, etc. until finally I began at the beginning of 2014 (more on that here).

I've run into similar issues with my own good ideas for myself in all areas of life.

If it is my idea I found that I have at least a 50% chance of following through on it. This is a rough estimate.

If the idea was suggested by someone else in the frame of "you should do _______" my internal resistance flairs up immediately most of the time and the chances of me meeting the external expectation go down a lot.  

I often resist whether someone tells me to do something or kindly suggests it.

Yet, sometimes someone makes a great suggestion and I immediately implement it.

Like I said before. Ridiculously frustrating.

I can't even imagine how annoying that has been for the people in my life. Especially my Mom and significant other.

Despite how frustrating it must be for others I always felt like my Mom did an amazing job parenting me. She gave me a ton of freedom and created an environment where I could truly thrive through my own self-direction. With the freedom there were reasonable boundaries that I had no trouble respecting (most of the time).

I've come to somewhat understand how she did this for me in the last few years through many deep talks. The basic gist is that she always gave me options and let me make the choice.  

She almost never (if ever) made the choice for me. And since I made the choice I was able to meet the expectation (most of the time).  

A fiercely independent individual like myself has always bucked hard against anything that felt like it was limiting my freedom. Fortunately, my Mom who also highly values freedom never did this to me.

The CEO of my company Ohmygreen has also created an environment where I am constantly asked "what do you think you/we should do?" We almost always discuss options & related consequences. Then ultimately, I am always empowered to make my own choice. I'm not even sure if he's ever specifically told me what to do.

This has resulted in the most fulfilling career/calling of my life thus far and I have been massively successful in my role at the company as a result of this personally empowering environment.

I have a highly similar "pro-choice" environment in my home life with my fiancé -- one of the big reasons I know we are going to be successful and happy in the long-run. Basically, my significant other never tells me what to do, always explains the reasons behind anything and everything we are doing (often before I even ask for the reasons), and ultimately I am always left with the power to choose.

To some, this need to understand and choose may seem somewhat unruly and rebellious. To others you may see yourself in this. Regardless of the personal resonance, almost all of us know someone like this (whether we are consciously aware of it).

Well, thanks to an awesome podcast interview by Chase Jarvis along with the developing work of the Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin (author of The Happiness Project & Better Than Before) I believe I am finally coming to understand myself in a new & deeply profound way.

And holy hell I am grateful!

I may have just stumbled upon the missing pieces for the keys to consciously understanding & empowering my ability to meet both internal and external expectations.  

I am still personally testing this, but I wanted to share now because I am so excited about this discovery and I want to up my rate of understanding & learning by interacting with others who may be going through the same thing with themselves or someone they know. . . so please leave comments!

According to Gretchen's Four Tendencies quiz I am a Rebel (take quiz here). And according to her framework as a Rebel I resist all expectations, outer and inner... Wait, what?! This sounds so familiar!

In Gretchen's words she says the following about Rebels [my comments in italicized brackets]:

• They choose to act from a sense of choice, of freedom. Rebels wake up and think, "What do I want to do today?" [LOL! This is too familiar. I usually have a running list of a dozen or more things I want to do daily and each day I wake up and intuitively do what calls to me the most.]
• They resist control, even self-control, and usually enjoy flouting rules and expectations. [I definitely resist any sort of outer control, bending rules does often appeal to me (that doesn't mean I always bend them), and expectations often drive me crazy. I often consciously and subconsciously subvert outer expectations placed upon me. Nonetheless, I have serious self-control when it comes to things related to my identity. More on that below.]
• Rebels place a high value on authenticity and self-determination and bring an unshackled spirit to what they do. Rebels work toward their own goals, in their own way, and while they refuse to do what they're "supposed" to do, they can accomplish their own aims. [Definitely agree. I often find myself purposely trying to do things in my own way, different from the usual way. I get a strong sense of satisfaction doing things uniquely. And "unshackled spirit" couldn't ring more true.]
• Rebels often frustrate others because they can't be asked or told to do anything. They don't care if "people are counting on you," "you said you'd do it," "your parents will be upset," "it's against the rules," "this is the deadline," or "it's rude." In fact, asking or telling Rebels to do something often makes them do just the opposite. [I had to teach my fiancé how my Mom parented me in order to avoid the chaos this could cause in a relationship.]
• The people around Rebels must guard against accidentally igniting their spirit of opposition--particularly challenging for the parents of Rebel children. [Both my parents, CEO of my company, and fiancé all do an incredible job of avoiding this.]
• In fact, Rebels sometimes frustrate themselves, because they can't tell themselves what to do. [Definitely run into this too many times. I believe I've finally consciously discovered solutions & strategies to overcome this (see below) . . . Amen!]

Three important strategies Gretchen brings up for the Rebel are [my comments italicized, but much is paraphrased from the reading of Better Than Before & scouring Gretchen's blog]:

1. Strategy of Clarity

• This is all about having a strong "why" behind why you are doing something. This includes the "why" related to your corresponding values & the "why" related to the action.
• I.E. I exercise because health & fitness is an important value to me and I exercise because it makes me feel energized and I love looking & feeling fit. 
• By being able to powerfully articulate in your own words why you are doing something the impetus to follow through in a way that actually brings satisfaction and a sense of looking forward to meeting the expectation can be consciously created.

2. Strategy of Identity

• This is consciously tying the expectation (inner & outer) to who you see yourself as and who you want to see yourself as. This strategy of Identity is PARTICULARLY POWERFUL for me personally (more on that in the "Alchemical Learnings" at the end).
• Case in point #1: When I finally read The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron I was able to deeply tie my personal identity to journaling, writing, and reclaiming myself as an artist. Her work struck such a strong chord within me that after more than decade of resisting the suggestion of journaling by teachers, family, & my partner I have now been journaling & writing with consistency ever since reading her book at the beginning of 2014.
• Case in point #2: When I first started Transcendental Meditation (TM) I decided that this was who I was and wanted to be (a meditator) and almost two years later I've meditated every single day (twice a day for 20 minutes) without ever missing a single session. Even I am surprised at this commitment to meeting an expectation. This identity was reinforced by the fact that people I aspired to be like also did TM (Tim Ferriss, Oprah, Hugh Jackman, George Lucas & many other powerhouses). 
• Another personal example is my fitness. A huge part of my personal identity is being incredibly fit so I have no problem exercising regularly and eating in a way that supports optimal aesthetic fitness.

3. Strategy of Other People

• Rebels pride themselves on being "different" from other people. This has been the story of my life. I've always enjoyed taking the path less traveled and doing things people either said I couldn't do or doing things that I "thought" other people thought I couldn't do. Whether they actually do doubt me doesn't even have to be true as long as I "think" they are doubting me. Ludicrous, but true for me many times in my life. Proving "other people" wrong and breaking societal norms brings me joy and action-taking energy.
• Case in point #1: It was uncommon for people in my high school to go to Stanford University (or equivalent level University). I even thought that most "other people" I shared this dream with doubted me. Whether they actually did doubt me is totally up for debate, but since I thought they did I had infinite energy to pursue this goal and even after being denied the first time I made it into Stanford on the second try.
• Case in point #2: It was uncommon for people who went to Stanford to go work in nightlife . . . I ended up working in Hollywood Nightlife for 7 years.
• Another personal example is my bodybuilding and yoga dual nature. I consider myself both a bodybuilder and a yogi -- a combination that isn't commonly found. I find it personally gratifying that I can be both when often a bodybuilder has no interest or sees no point in doing yoga and vice versa. And I personally get a kick when I am met with a surprised look after explaining my passion for both physical disciplines.

Part bodybuilder, part yogi, all Rebel 🌓 

These strategies (Clarity, Identity, Other People) have value for all Four Tendencies. A brief overview of those Four Tendencies from Gretchen are:

Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin

1. Upholder: "I do what others expect of me--and what I expect of myself"
2. Questioner: "I do what I think is best, according to my judgment. If it doesn't make sense, I won't do it."
3. Obliger: "I do what I have to do. I don't want to let others, but I may let myself down."
4. Rebel: "I do what I want in my own way. If you try to make me do something--even if I try to make myself do something--I'm less likely to do it."

Curious what you are and want to know more? Go take the quiz & find out! Takes less than 5 minutes.

Alchemical Learnings

1. I finally have found a framework that makes sense as to why it is so easy for me to form and keep some habits and so difficult to create and keep others. Same goes for internal and external expectations set my by myself and other people.
2. I now have three strategies (Clarity, Identity, & Other People) with which I can consciously use to strategically build empowering habits and meet internal & external habits. [I am still testing so will update this article if I come upon deeper insight or new & improved Rebel strategies. Please leave me a comment if you have any!]
3. The strategy of IDENTITY seems to be the most powerful tool for me. Despite being a rebel I've always been highly successful in business because I've always considered being a topnotch businessman and entrepreneur an incredibly important part of my core identity. Same goes for my fitness. I am now testing this strategy more thoroughly seeing if I can tie my identity to areas and expectations I've resisted in the past.
4. I can easily give the following getting-a-Rebel-to-meet-expecations-framework to anyone who is looking to personally or professionally work with me in a co-empowering way. Discovered by mother originally in my life and personally consciously re-cognized by Gretchen during her interview with Chase Jarvis where she says, "Information, Consequences, Choice." The framework for working with a rebel is:
   1. Go over ALL the information behind and around the expectation (or habit).
   2. Go over ALL the consequences (good, bad, & neutral) of various choices and possible outcomes.
   3. Let the Rebel make the final choice once step 1 & 2 have been thoroughly vetted.

Alchemical Opportunity for the reader:

1. Go take the quiz & find out what your tendency is!
2. If you are a Rebel try out the strategies of Clarity, Identity, & Other People with an expectation you have (internal or external). I am trying these strategies out with my taxes (which I have notoriously avoided and been late on way too many times in this lifetime).
3. Think you interact regularly with a Rebel? Try the Information-Consequences-Choice strategy and see how it works.
4. Leave any/all comments below about Rebels (yours personally if you are Rebel & your experience working/dealing with a Rebel in your life).

Life is full of expectations and habits. Our own. Other people's. And society's.

Self-knowledge is such a powerful tool. Deeply understanding what and how we are motivated is an incredible way to bring effectiveness, more grace and increased happiness to our very own lives so that we can meet inner & outer expectations and build & break habits with the least amount of friction possible and in the most efficient way for our individual way of being.

In my own life I’ve discovered that despite being a Rebel I can be effective with meeting internal & external expectations and build awesome life-affirming habits as long as I have strong reasons behind me. This is why I consider myself a REBEL WITH A CAUSE.

Despite your tendency two maxims hold true & empowering for you and for me . . .

As Socrates said, “Know thyself.” And as Shakespeare said, “To thine own self be true.”

In alchemy & service,

Justin David Carl 🌒

P.S. I am looking forward to Gretchen more fully drawing out this empowering framework in her upcoming book on the Four Tendencies.

P.P.S. Positive transformation is an ongoing never-ending part of an empowered life. Why not mechanize the process by joining my NEWSLETTER?!

💪🏼🌱🥳 It’s my 40th birthday & I went Raw Vegan! ⏩ Swipe to see what I ate! Ok, I’m not truly a Raw Vegan, just Vegan for over 2-years now! Woohoo! I had the good fortune to savor a lovely Raw Vegan Birthday Meal at @rawlovetulum! I thoroughly enjoyed the following: 1. Black Bean Burger 2. Maki Roll 3. Living Pizza (personal fav) 4. Coconut Curry Feeling incredibly grateful for my 30s — all the special people, trials, tribulations, growth & success. The tough parts, the beautiful parts, and everything in between! All my experiences up until now have helped to shape the man I am today & the ever-evolving man I am becoming with each new day. Looking back on my life experiences & the people in it with the deepest of Gratitude 🙏🏼, anchoring myself in the Divine Beauty of the PRESENT 😇🎁 & looking forward to the Epic Adventure of my 40s! 🤘🏼😅🤘🏼 YEEHAWWW!!! Feeling nothing but Raw Love! 🙌🏼💗🐲 #veganbirthday #rawvegan #veganfitness #vegan #veganmuscle #veganfood #veganbodybuilding #tulum #fitvegan

I am NOT on the Carnivore diet. But I am definitely on the Greens. While on holiday vacation I had a few people come up to me at the gym in Huntington Beach & ask if the reason I am so fit is because I eat a lot of meat & am on the carnivore diet. The first time this happened I told the guy I was Vegan & he looked at me with a confused look like I was speaking another language. I went on to tell him that I only eat plants (no animal products) & his confusion still continued… He went on to tell me that he’s been seeing a lot of super muscular people online toting the Carnivore Diet as the key to their fitness. I went on to explain that unfortunately a lot of these people pushing the meat diet are likely taking some serious steroids to achieve their physical appearance. Plus, meat & dairy consumption along w/ steroids is going to cost them in the long-run in terms of longevity & healthspan—meaning how healthy they will be during their lifespan. Real scientific studies show us that the healthiest longest living people eat a predominantly whole food plant-based diet & that many diseases are either caused by and/or exacerbated by the consumption of meat & dairy. Fortunately, now there are tons of people showing us that not only can you have a science-backed Vegan diet that promotes optimal healthspan & longevity working in your favor but you can also be super muscular & jacked eating & living this way. I’m just one example that you can be a super fit ~40yo 100% Natural Vegan Bodybuilder with a wife & full-time professional career in tech. You don’t even need to be a full time athlete or fitness influencer or compete in bodybuilding shows (I never have). All you need to be super fit, muscular & healthy AF is the right mindset, diet, lifestyle & habits. 👉🏼The new @vedgenutrition Organic Greens drops today! It’s a key part of my daily fitness wellbeing strategy to incorporate 15 Superfoods for optimal energy, immunity, digestion & healthspan! And it tastes so good! 💪🏼🌱Code DRAGON to save 🐲 #vegan #veganbodybuilding #carnivore #carnivorediet #veganfitness #greensmoothie #greens

🤔 I’m curious what holiday traditions healthy & fit people incorporate into their lives? As a newly married man, I’ve been thinking a lot about what kind of family holiday traditions we want to design into the fabric of our lives. Here’s what we did for Thanksgiving Weekend: The Phoenix cooked up a truly Divine Vegan Spread that included Shepard’s Pie, Bacon Wrapped Dates & freshly made cranberry sauce. We capped it off with some Plant-Based @benandjerrys on top of a pumpkin brownie. My day started with my regular morning practice of meditation, journaling, tracking/planning, goals/visualization, creativity, affirmations, reading & an early morning workout (leg day) at the gym. It was inspiring to be at a gym that was actually quite busy on Thanksgiving. Love witnessing others living a Fitness Lifestyle! Throughout the day I connected with my Mom, Dad, family & friends through the gift of technology. When I came home from the gym the Phoenix was cooking up a storm. We’ve recognized that cooking on the Holiday is usually the highest joy for the Phoenix. The Dragon is a lucky beneficiary of this. I drew myself an Epsom Salt Bath & soaked while the Phoenix finished cooking. Been doubling down on my recovery these days. [Key if you train frequently & want to stay in top shape at ~40.] I fasted until our first meal around 1pm. This is pretty typical for me as I intermittent fast most days for 80-90% of the year. [Simple strategy to avoid overeating at a planned holiday meal.] The Phoenix delivered a thoughtful grace before we dug in. Good convo & delicious food were had. After our first meal, the Phoenix read in bed while the Dragon took an epic 2-hour nap by her side. Upon arising we watched a fun movie (Red Notice) then had more food & dessert. Then it was off to bed nice & early (typical for Dragon since I awake very early). Later that weekend we took a day trip adventure to Santa Cruz. For me, it was a perfectly healthy, fit, & fun celebration! #vegan #veganthanksgiving #veganholiday

What happens when Vegan Athletes get together? They go do a @Spartan Obstacle Course Race together! And before the race, they dry-scoop @vedgenutrition Pre-Workout & Nitro Pump because that is what Fit Vegan Savages do! Such an epic time with @nimai_delgado @alexanderbvck @luckiesigouin running through the mountains of Castaic & tackling obstacles together! It was a crystal clear blue sunny day & Gaia was regal AF in all her magnificent! Afterward, we hit up the @veganexchangela (my first time) to refuel & demolish some delicious vegan food! I had the Pitmaster from @leaf_over_beef which included an @impossible_foods patty, Smoked BBQ Pulled Pork, Mac & Cheese, Cabbage, Pickles all on a Pretzel Bun. So good! We even ran into @leo_fit_life, another Vedge Athlete, who helps put on the Vegan Exchange. The Vedge Athletes are always up to life-enhancing endeavors! Good times w/ good friends, lots of laughs, fitness, some grit & blood, nature time, deep convo & delicious food were all par for the course. All in all, it was a super Epic Vegan Adventure! This is the kind of stuff that lifelong cherished memories are made of! Next up for the Vedge Team: maybe a massive 50+ mile cycling event or a Vision Quest! YEEHAW!! 🤘🏼🐲🤘🏼 #vegan #veganfitness #spartan #veganfood #veganlifestyle

👉🏼What do you do when you get together with your Vegan Friends? During my SoCal road trip last month I got to meet up w/ one of my favorite people @nimai_delgado & spend the day doing what Fit Vegans do when they get together. We started our man-date at @goldsgym Venice (of course) fueled by the Holy Trinity aka the @vedgenutrition Pre/Pump/Creatine+ stack to get in a solid back & biceps workout. While at the gym we ran into Simon Hill @plant_proof which was super fun for me as a longtime listener & fan of the good work he does. After that, it was back to Nimai’s crib to refuel w/ Vedge Plant Pro & have deep talks about the future of the Vedge Community—very exciting stuff to come! Then it was time to hit the beach on skates/blades & soak up that solar ocean energy! On our way back we ran into @luckiesigouin! Seriously gotta love the Vegan Mecca that Venice seems to be! Throughout the entire day, Nimai & I spent a lot of time talking about many important life areas like career/calling, goals, dreams & aspirations, personal development, books, fitness, work/life balance, relationships, etc. Nimai & I always seem to go super deep whenever we connect, but I think that’s pretty typical of both of us! 🤓 After our Venice & Santa Monica roll, I got to try out Vedge’s forthcoming Organic Greens powder & was super impressed with the taste, consistency, & delicious flavor. Can’t wait for that to get released! Somehow we did not make it to a Vegan lunch spot, but I was riding high on good energy/synergy so I hardly noticed! 😅 Ultimately, we had an empowering Vegan Man-Date full of fitness, nature time, deep talks, life/goals ideation/strategy, & more all fueled by plant power! 💪🏼🌱 Next up we're doing a Vedge Team @spartan Sprint! ⚔️ This is what an awesome Vegan Lifestyle worth living looks like for me! YEEHAW!! 🤘🏼🐲🤘🏼 #vegan #veganfitness #veganbodybuilding #veganlifestyle

When I leveled up my Life & went 99% Vegan at the beginning of 2020 there was one aspect of my new lifestyle that wasn’t quite in line—my sports supplements. Specifically, my pre-workout stack. For months I tried a bunch of different Vegan Pre-Workout formulas from various companies but none of them hit like the non-vegan pre-workout I was taking so I kept going back it. This left me very conflicted. I even asked my wife if I could publicly say that I was Vegan if I was knowingly taking a supplement that was not 100% Vegan. Her response was “no.” And in my heart I knew she was right because that would be inauthentic. Then something amazing happened towards the end of 2020. I had recently become a Vedge Elite Athlete & to my great excitement they released a 100% Vegan Pre-Workout! And guess what…? It hit HARD! 👊🏼 It got me super amped to crush my workouts & I was regularly hitting new PRs! 📈 And there’s more! There was no crash afterwards and it tasted so good! Plus you can stack it with Nitro Pump which is the non-stimulant version of the Pre-Workout for a truly incredible pump! 💪🏼 And the best part for me? I finally got to say that I was 100% Vegan & feel super good about it! 🌱😇 The gains & newfound energy/pump have been a close second best part! 😅 I’ve been battleground testing the Vedge Pre-Workout & Nitro Pump for the last year with every single workout I do & I can honestly say that it’s the best pre-workout stack available—whether or not you are Vegan. Happy to report I’m in the best shape of my life too! It has science-backed dosing of high quality organic ingredients from trusted sourcing. This is key because there is so much fluff & BS in most supplements. Most products on the market have a sprinkle of an ingredient & that will have zero effect. So, if you’re looking to take your workouts & fitness to the next level with a product that you can trust get yourself the @vedgenutrition Pre-Workout / Nitro Pump stack & light yourself on FIRE!! 🔥 👉🏼Use code DRAGON at checkout to save! And to support your favorite Life Alchemist! 🙏🏼💗🐲 ➖➖➖ #vegan #veganfitness #calisthenics #preworkout #gymnasticsrings Title PC: @isaacgautschi

Having work that makes us come ALIVE is a must for truly living a life worth living for. The longer I live the more I’ve learned what type of work lights me on fire & what type of work sucks away my life force. Over the years & decades, it’s mostly been a trial & error process of discovering the type of work that sparks me. And while that process has worked, I wonder how much time I could have saved from toiling away at work that did not light me up. I also wonder how many other people spend years if not decades or lifetimes doing work that doesn’t really make them feel like they’re doing what they were meant to do. So, when I discovered that @jonathanfields has spent the last several years rigorously developing a body of work, framework & test that allows one to identify the type of work that makes us truly shine (inwardly & outwardly) I immediately dived into his work he has compiled & distilled in his new best-selling book “SPARKED: Discover Your Unique Imprint for Work that Makes you Come Alive!” Through Jonathan’s work, I discovered my primary & secondary Work Archetype, or what he calls one’s Sparketype, and it was so empowering that I cried (true story). It was like finally being able to name something that I could sense subconsciously just below the surface, but was always just out of my conscious grasp. Identifying, naming & deeply understanding my Sparketype felt like a homecoming. Like a return to my True Self. And when I looked back on all my years of work it was always when I was doing the work of my primary Sparketype that I felt most alive & that I was the most successful! Through very good fortune I will be sitting down with Jonathan Fields for a Live Webinar to share his Sparketype work with others and it will be FREE to all who attend thanks to my company @getgarten. I’m so excited to share this with more people because what the world needs right now is more people who have come alive! 🗓 The Free Webinar will take place this Thursday 10/14 at 12pm PST. 👉🏼 Space is Limited & Registration is Required so please signup at Garten.co or through the link in my bio. Hope to see you there! 🙏🏼💗🐉 #work #worklife

First time trying Vegan African American Fusion! Who else has tried it? The Phoenix Wife @carlylynwise surprised me this weekend with a Day Trip to Santa Cruz! We’re in the process of figuring out where we want to buy a home so we’ve been exploring different areas. We donned our hiking shoes & explored some of the neighborhoods as well as the beach while getting in our steps. Urban hiking in new areas is always a great way to spend the day in my Life Alchemist opinion. It’s an awesome way to get in movement, expand your mind, add novelty, fantasize about living in a new place, get into meaningful deep conversations w/ another & so much more! Apparently, there was an Ironman going on while we were there so that added to the fun & excitement! We finished up the urban hike w/ a Vegan Lunch at @veg_ontheedge! We enjoyed the Èfo O L’Ogede (Plantain Curry), the Śuyà Burger made w/ a @beyondmeat patty, & Cassava Fries. It was a super delicious & hearty meal that expanded our tastebuds’ horizons! 🙏🏼❤️‍🔥🐉 P.S. If you have any recommendations for great places to live w/ good year-round weather that support a holistic wellbeing & fitness lifestyle w/ good-to-decent vegan options I'd love to hear about it in the comments! Extra points if the cost of living is reasonable! ➖➖➖ #daytrip #santacruz #urbanhiking #veganfood #veganafricanfood #vegancouple #veganlifestyle #lifealchemist

Is rollerblading cool again? As a kid there were a few summers where I probably rollerbladed almost every single day. I loved it so much that I would spend entire days rollerblading all over town. One of my teachers still tells the tale of how I would rollerblade down Main Street like I owned the place. To this day my childhood rollerblading adventures hold a special place in my heart & I have scar that will never let me forget. For whatever reason rollerblading somehow became uncool by the time I entered high school & like most teenagers who are overly concerned about what others think I let my childhood blading joy whither & die. Sometime around 2010 this wildfire of a woman invited me to go rollerblading. At first, I resisted thinking & saying it wasn’t cool anymore. She persisted. Eventually I gave in, bought a pair of blades & got back out there with her. That childhood magic I thought had died years ago reignited within moments of the first few rollerblade strides I took. A huge goofy grin came over my face. A lightness appeared in my body & I began to flow again. It truly felt magical. Like dancing in space. Because of my wife @carlylynwise I’ve been rollerblading for the last decade plus & I stopped caring whether it was considered cool or not. It brings me massive joy. It brings out my inner child. It empowers my mind, body & spirit to free flow. And that is all that really matters. For our wedding we captured some of the Rollerblading Magic back in my hometown & I’d like to think we look cool AF! 🤘🏼❤️‍🔥🐉 ➖➖➖ PC: @brittanybrenske Frames: @endlessblading Boots: @frskates @intuitionliners @powerslidebrand #rollerblading #inlineskating #rollerblade #rollerblades

Labor Day 7-years ago would be the last time I had alcohol… Although at the time I didn’t know it. After getting way too drunk in Half Moon Bay with my then girlfriend (now wife) I spent the car-ride home throwing up out the side of the car. I was a fuckin’ mess. The next day I felt like shit. No surprise. @carlylynwise informed me that she was going to consciously take a month off from drinking & she asked me if I’d like to join her. In my misery I glumly agreed to join her. This was the first time since I had started drinking at the age of 20 that I consciously decide to take a break. The first month went well. So well in fact that I asked my partner if we could do a second month. The second month felt good too & I was starting to notice that my mood swings had began to really level out. I was no longer waking up feeling depressed & emotional for no identifiable reason. In fact, I was feeling so much better all-around than I had in years. Something I never could have even noticed before because I had never gone more than a week or two without drinking in the last 12 years. So naturally, at the end of month 2 of sobriety I proposed to my partner that we do a 3rd month. Like the trailblazer she is she responded with “how about we try being #sober for 1-year.” I was like “Whoa now! A whole year?! I’m going to have to think about that.” I said I’d continue to be sober while I mulled it over. I came to the conclusion that since I had spent 12-years drinking, often excessively, especially while working in Hollywood Nightlife, that I could take 1-year & dedicate it to being sober. I figured it would be good for my body & mind. So, about a week after her 1-year of sobriety proposal I accepted & we embarked on the #soberlife journey together. 7-years later we’re still going strong, completely sober from all drugs & alcohol & it has been one of the best life-decisions we’ve ever made. We found ourselves, each other, our success, our happiness, our health, & so much more! I am forever grateful to my Wife for paving the way for us. 🙏🏼🤍🐉 ➖➖➖ PC1: @avnicreates PC2/3: @saraknobelphoto Suit: @ezracayman #sobriety #sobercouple #soberliving