Facing Financial Shame: How I Overcame Some Serious Money Darkness

I tried running for as long as I could. Away from the fear & darkness. But eventually the weight of it all got so heavy I could no longer move forward. And this is when I decided to turn around and finally face it. Once and for all.

I've been virtually MIA online since August 2017. This is in stark contrast to the fact that I was blogging regularly, posting on Instagram & Facebook religiously, as well as going Live (aka video blogging in real time). This was my daily/weekly habit previous to my abrupt disappearance.

So where the hell did I go...?

The short answer is that I went to clean up my personal finances. They were a fuckin' mess. Unpaid taxes. Unfiled taxes from a few years. School loans. And credit card debt.

Here is the long answer:

TAXES

I came back to finish my Stanford degree in 2013. Instead of paying money I owed for taxes for 2011 & 2012 I decided to defer and make small monthly payments with interest. This way I could keep the cash for living expenses as I wouldn't be working for at least a year. I had my own business so taxes weren't automatically taken out of my monthly income.

Though this strategy worked well initially, it ended up leading me to make things much worse. When it came time to do my taxes for 2013 I pushed them off, sort of feeling that I had gotten away with not paying them in 2011 & 2012. I realize this was untrue as I was still paying on them monthly, but squarely facing your finances can be woefully scary when you have no money coming in.

When I finished up Stanford in 2014 I joined a startup and wasn't making much money for the first year or more. So when it came time to do my taxes for 2014 & 2015 I put them off again & again. I stupidly told myself I would take care of them "later."

Well, later never came. Or rather it did, but I still didn't take care of them. I let it get even worse. Even at the end of 2016, despite making pretty good money, I shied away from getting caught up on my taxes. By this time the shear number of years of taxes I had to clean up scared the hell out of me and I continued to try to hide from them. The mess was too big to even begin.

Plus, it felt so good to finally have money accruing in the bank. In truth, I knew that a good portion of it would need to go towards paying taxes and other debts but I still wasn't ready to face it.

It would have to get worse for me to finally take action.

One day I was looking over my growing finances and noticed that over $20K had been taken out of my business account by the State of California. That sure was a wake-up call!

SCHOOL LOANS

I started Stanford when I was 20 and took out my first school loan. Fortunately, I qualified for a decent amount of financial aid & scholarship so I didn't have to take out too much money. Unfortunately, despite making some pretty amazing money during my 8-year stint working in Hollywood Nightlife I never paid them off. Although I did a decent job of making the minimum payments I was much more interested in "living the life." Or in other words, the more money I made the more I spent. This is also known as "lifestyle inflation."

15 years later these student loans were still eating away at me financially, mentally, emotionally and even spiritually.

CREDIT CARDS

About 6-months after coming back to Stanford I asked my girlfriend (now fiancé) to move up from LA and join me in Menlo Park, California. This meant leaving her current income and starting over here. I was still finishing school (no income) and to make matters worse, Menlo Park has one of the highest costs of living in the world.

Though we had some money saved we were soon using the credit card more & more to make ends meet. It got bad pretty quick. Soon we were unable to make the minimum payment and had to do what is called "pay over time" where you essentially pay only a part of your minimum payment and defer the rest for later.

The credit card company loves this because it means they get to charge you even more interest on an even higher balance. We took it so far they eventually disallowed us from using pay-over-time. We were sitting on about $24K worth of credit card debt when they cut us off.

SUMMARY OF FINANCIAL MESS AS OF MAY 2017:

• Unpaid taxes from 2011 & 2012
• Unfiled & unpaid taxes from 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016
• School loans: ~$10K
• Credit card debt: ~$24K

I won't go into details of just how much I owed for all the tax years as I am still new to sharing my personal finances in such a public way, but let's just say it was a lot. Plus I was six years behind!

At this point you may be thinking, "Good god! Who even admits to being so far behind publicly?!"

Answer: a life alchemist who is on a mission to empower people to transform & self-actualize. Who better to be a lantern-bearer in the financial darkness than someone who has spent years crawling around in the muck & the mire, intimately getting to know it, and ultimately discovering the light within.

I'm definitely not the only one who has gotten behind on their finances. And I won't be the last. I believe that by sharing my vulnerability & ultimately my recovery it will provide others an opening to do their own recovery work in this crucial life area.

THE TURNAROUND

Being in debt & behind on your finances sucks. It is soul-sucking and it gnaws away at your life. It stains anything good you have going. An ever looming shadow lurking over all that shines. Trust me, I know. I've been carrying around the shame and energetic weight of unfinished taxes since 2011 and I've had debt since 2002. It's only gotten heavier and scarier over the years as I've pushed it to the side to deal with "later."

Well, later finally did come. The shame and accompanying pain become too much to bear. It literally caused me to creatively shutdown. Hence my disappearance as a blogger/vlogger & online force of transformation. How could I encourage others to do their "work" if I was running from my own opportunity to heal, grow & transform?

Deep down I knew that in order to move into the next level of my life I would finally have to clean up my financial mess. It was one of the key messages that was delivered to me during my Vision Quest. Yet, even after the most transformative experience of my life to date I still put it off for a few more months. Instead I took the fire and used it to push myself forward creatively.

Nonetheless, the call to face the darkness eventually became too loud to ignore. So I shut down externally and focused internally. And that's where I've been. Putting in the work to heal & recover.

But even before this I was laying the groundwork. I needed both the internal focus and the pre-work to get through it. 

I would love to say that it all happened in a perfectly linear order, but real life isn't that simple. Instead, I had to reach a certain level of pain in addition to having specific awakenings, learnings & experiences occur before it all came together.

In no particular order...

Here are my steps I used to reclaim my financial power:

1. Define your why:

Before I could even begin to tackle this mountain of darkness I had to get clear on my why. Why did I want to get my finances cleaned up? 

For me it was pretty simple. I was tired of dragging around this weight. Feeling afraid. Feeling trapped. Feeling powerless.

I wanted to be free & secure. I wanted my power back.

At an even higher level, I wanted personal finance to be one of my strengths so I could inspire others to find their own freedom & power. This would allow me to further deliver upon my personal mission. Once I knew this the next part was to...

2. Share the darkness:

I started with my fiancé. Even though I was afraid she would judge me I knew that I needed to tell someone otherwise I would only continue to fall deeper. I had to admit that I had a problem. You see, shame loves secrets. This is how shame controls us. It keeps us separated, alone, disconnected & powerless. Yet, when we have the courage to share our darkness we realize that those who love us unconditionally don't judge us. Instead they embrace us. My fiancé listened compassionately, she consoled me, and then she opened the door to the next step (#3).

Sharing with one person allowed me to share with others. I shared my dark secret with other family members and close friends and quickly realized that they all still loved & accepted me. They did not turn their back on me. I think consciously we all know this, but subconsciously we fear that we will lose those we love most if we share too much of our darkness. Actively & openly sharing breaks us free from this subconscious self-imprisonment.

The more I shared my darkness the more its hold over me lessened. This in turn opened me up to the next step.

3. Get help:

When you get behind or you are buried underneath something you have no idea how to tackle find someone who knows how to get through it and leverage their expertise. My fiancé introduced me to her friend's tax accountant who turned out to be a total tax rockstar. I had no idea where to even start, but this accountant was a complete pro. Step-by-step she helped me get each tax year cleaned up.

4. Action cures fear:

I did my best to do something every day that would force me to directly face my financial fear & shame. I worked on my taxes. I called my accountant when I was confused or unsure what to do next. I read personal finance blogs. I listened to personal finance podcasts. Eventually, the fear fades when you embrace it often enough.

5. Set new goals & get inspired:

During the time I was getting my taxes cleaned up I decided that I no longer wanted to just be great at making money. I also wanted to be amazing at managing my money. With this new goal new sources of inspiration began to show up. I discovered the infamous Mr. Money Mustache (MMM) and read his article "The Shockingly Simple Math Behind Early Retirement." This one article fundamentally changed my thinking about personal finance and got me hooked on the subject.

Fueled by my newfound personal finance addiction I stumbled upon another MMM article titled "News Flash: Your Debt is an Emergency." After reading it I was super inspired and I paid off all my school loans & credit card debt in one day. I literally face-punched my debt into the ground with one haymaker.

6. Find your financial tribe & continuously learn:

Thanks to Mr. Money Mustache's ridiculous & hilarious persona (and awesome story-telling) I finally fell in love with personal finance and the concept of Financial Independence (FI). The definition I like the best is having wealth to cover expenses indefinitely without having to work. I don't necessarily want to stop working anytime soon as I am having a ton of fun building Oh My Green as one of the founding team-members. Nonetheless, having a nest egg (or Stash) that covers all of my living expenses would bring a level of freedom & security never before realized. Becoming a multi-millionaire in the next 5-15 years would also satisfy a childhood dream.

Through MMM I discovered a powerful tribe of people pursuing financial independence & early retirement (much earlier than 65). The FI tribe knows how to get there faster with more consistency than any other I've come across. Plus their emphasis on freedom is right in line with my personal values. There is something magical and powerful about surrounding yourself with others on similar paths with similar values. And it radically increases the speed at which you learn & move along your journey.

I am now regularly geeking out on saving money, investing, retirement accounts, travel hacking, tax optimization & numerous other wealth-building strategies. All because I found a tribe that makes personal finance fun and exciting for me.

CONCLUSION

I still have a long way to go on my personal finance & wealth accumulation journey, but I can happily say that I am 100% debt free & completely caught up on all my taxes (filed & paid). I've also made fierce gains on growing the Stash, rapidly increasing my net worth & pumping up my financial muscles.

So, no matter how far behind you are financially know that it's never too late to get caught back up and begin getting ahead. Through my personal study of those in the FI community I've encountered numerous stories of real people coming back from 100s of thousands of dollars in debt. Even if you think you are too far behind know that you are not. And you are not alone.

Feel free to follow the steps I outlined above and add in your own. If you know of or discover any useful tools, resources, or steps please share them in the comments at the very bottom of the page. I'm always looking to improve my own process and share with others!

In alchemy & service,

Justin David Carl 🌒

Cover Photo by Glass Locket Film, Suit by Vesey Exclusive

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Alchemical Resources:

1. Mr. Money Mustache. A leading figure in the FI community. His writing is hilarious. If you are anything like me it will make you enjoy personal finance. Fair warning: he is pretty extreme. I've found that by studying the extreme and creating a workable version for myself leaves me in place much further along than where I was before. If he seems too extreme find another personal finance voice that works for you.
2. Rockstar Finance. This site aggregates popular personal finance blog articles from across the web. It's a great place to find some personal finance personalities/stories/journeys that resonate & truly inspire you no matter where you're at in life.
3. ChooseFI Podcast. Best podcast on Financial Independence I've discovered so far. Start from the episode one and run through them all. It will provide a deep & well-rounded education in personal finance. It regularly fills in the gaps in my personal finance education. Regular listening also keeps me personally motivated each week to take action on building my wealth.
4. The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed To Be & Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown. This book is not necessarily about money or personal finance but it deals powerfully with shame and that is something that almost always accompanies money in some way or form.

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💪🏼🌱🥳 It’s my 40th birthday & I went Raw Vegan! ⏩ Swipe to see what I ate! Ok, I’m not truly a Raw Vegan, just Vegan for over 2-years now! Woohoo! I had the good fortune to savor a lovely Raw Vegan Birthday Meal at @rawlovetulum! I thoroughly enjoyed the following: 1. Black Bean Burger 2. Maki Roll 3. Living Pizza (personal fav) 4. Coconut Curry Feeling incredibly grateful for my 30s — all the special people, trials, tribulations, growth & success. The tough parts, the beautiful parts, and everything in between! All my experiences up until now have helped to shape the man I am today & the ever-evolving man I am becoming with each new day. Looking back on my life experiences & the people in it with the deepest of Gratitude 🙏🏼, anchoring myself in the Divine Beauty of the PRESENT 😇🎁 & looking forward to the Epic Adventure of my 40s! 🤘🏼😅🤘🏼 YEEHAWWW!!! Feeling nothing but Raw Love! 🙌🏼💗🐲 #veganbirthday #rawvegan #veganfitness #vegan #veganmuscle #veganfood #veganbodybuilding #tulum #fitvegan

I am NOT on the Carnivore diet. But I am definitely on the Greens. While on holiday vacation I had a few people come up to me at the gym in Huntington Beach & ask if the reason I am so fit is because I eat a lot of meat & am on the carnivore diet. The first time this happened I told the guy I was Vegan & he looked at me with a confused look like I was speaking another language. I went on to tell him that I only eat plants (no animal products) & his confusion still continued… He went on to tell me that he’s been seeing a lot of super muscular people online toting the Carnivore Diet as the key to their fitness. I went on to explain that unfortunately a lot of these people pushing the meat diet are likely taking some serious steroids to achieve their physical appearance. Plus, meat & dairy consumption along w/ steroids is going to cost them in the long-run in terms of longevity & healthspan—meaning how healthy they will be during their lifespan. Real scientific studies show us that the healthiest longest living people eat a predominantly whole food plant-based diet & that many diseases are either caused by and/or exacerbated by the consumption of meat & dairy. Fortunately, now there are tons of people showing us that not only can you have a science-backed Vegan diet that promotes optimal healthspan & longevity working in your favor but you can also be super muscular & jacked eating & living this way. I’m just one example that you can be a super fit ~40yo 100% Natural Vegan Bodybuilder with a wife & full-time professional career in tech. You don’t even need to be a full time athlete or fitness influencer or compete in bodybuilding shows (I never have). All you need to be super fit, muscular & healthy AF is the right mindset, diet, lifestyle & habits. 👉🏼The new @vedgenutrition Organic Greens drops today! It’s a key part of my daily fitness wellbeing strategy to incorporate 15 Superfoods for optimal energy, immunity, digestion & healthspan! And it tastes so good! 💪🏼🌱Code DRAGON to save 🐲 #vegan #veganbodybuilding #carnivore #carnivorediet #veganfitness #greensmoothie #greens

🤔 I’m curious what holiday traditions healthy & fit people incorporate into their lives? As a newly married man, I’ve been thinking a lot about what kind of family holiday traditions we want to design into the fabric of our lives. Here’s what we did for Thanksgiving Weekend: The Phoenix cooked up a truly Divine Vegan Spread that included Shepard’s Pie, Bacon Wrapped Dates & freshly made cranberry sauce. We capped it off with some Plant-Based @benandjerrys on top of a pumpkin brownie. My day started with my regular morning practice of meditation, journaling, tracking/planning, goals/visualization, creativity, affirmations, reading & an early morning workout (leg day) at the gym. It was inspiring to be at a gym that was actually quite busy on Thanksgiving. Love witnessing others living a Fitness Lifestyle! Throughout the day I connected with my Mom, Dad, family & friends through the gift of technology. When I came home from the gym the Phoenix was cooking up a storm. We’ve recognized that cooking on the Holiday is usually the highest joy for the Phoenix. The Dragon is a lucky beneficiary of this. I drew myself an Epsom Salt Bath & soaked while the Phoenix finished cooking. Been doubling down on my recovery these days. [Key if you train frequently & want to stay in top shape at ~40.] I fasted until our first meal around 1pm. This is pretty typical for me as I intermittent fast most days for 80-90% of the year. [Simple strategy to avoid overeating at a planned holiday meal.] The Phoenix delivered a thoughtful grace before we dug in. Good convo & delicious food were had. After our first meal, the Phoenix read in bed while the Dragon took an epic 2-hour nap by her side. Upon arising we watched a fun movie (Red Notice) then had more food & dessert. Then it was off to bed nice & early (typical for Dragon since I awake very early). Later that weekend we took a day trip adventure to Santa Cruz. For me, it was a perfectly healthy, fit, & fun celebration! #vegan #veganthanksgiving #veganholiday

What happens when Vegan Athletes get together? They go do a @Spartan Obstacle Course Race together! And before the race, they dry-scoop @vedgenutrition Pre-Workout & Nitro Pump because that is what Fit Vegan Savages do! Such an epic time with @nimai_delgado @alexanderbvck @luckiesigouin running through the mountains of Castaic & tackling obstacles together! It was a crystal clear blue sunny day & Gaia was regal AF in all her magnificent! Afterward, we hit up the @veganexchangela (my first time) to refuel & demolish some delicious vegan food! I had the Pitmaster from @leaf_over_beef which included an @impossible_foods patty, Smoked BBQ Pulled Pork, Mac & Cheese, Cabbage, Pickles all on a Pretzel Bun. So good! We even ran into @leo_fit_life, another Vedge Athlete, who helps put on the Vegan Exchange. The Vedge Athletes are always up to life-enhancing endeavors! Good times w/ good friends, lots of laughs, fitness, some grit & blood, nature time, deep convo & delicious food were all par for the course. All in all, it was a super Epic Vegan Adventure! This is the kind of stuff that lifelong cherished memories are made of! Next up for the Vedge Team: maybe a massive 50+ mile cycling event or a Vision Quest! YEEHAW!! 🤘🏼🐲🤘🏼 #vegan #veganfitness #spartan #veganfood #veganlifestyle

👉🏼What do you do when you get together with your Vegan Friends? During my SoCal road trip last month I got to meet up w/ one of my favorite people @nimai_delgado & spend the day doing what Fit Vegans do when they get together. We started our man-date at @goldsgym Venice (of course) fueled by the Holy Trinity aka the @vedgenutrition Pre/Pump/Creatine+ stack to get in a solid back & biceps workout. While at the gym we ran into Simon Hill @plant_proof which was super fun for me as a longtime listener & fan of the good work he does. After that, it was back to Nimai’s crib to refuel w/ Vedge Plant Pro & have deep talks about the future of the Vedge Community—very exciting stuff to come! Then it was time to hit the beach on skates/blades & soak up that solar ocean energy! On our way back we ran into @luckiesigouin! Seriously gotta love the Vegan Mecca that Venice seems to be! Throughout the entire day, Nimai & I spent a lot of time talking about many important life areas like career/calling, goals, dreams & aspirations, personal development, books, fitness, work/life balance, relationships, etc. Nimai & I always seem to go super deep whenever we connect, but I think that’s pretty typical of both of us! 🤓 After our Venice & Santa Monica roll, I got to try out Vedge’s forthcoming Organic Greens powder & was super impressed with the taste, consistency, & delicious flavor. Can’t wait for that to get released! Somehow we did not make it to a Vegan lunch spot, but I was riding high on good energy/synergy so I hardly noticed! 😅 Ultimately, we had an empowering Vegan Man-Date full of fitness, nature time, deep talks, life/goals ideation/strategy, & more all fueled by plant power! 💪🏼🌱 Next up we're doing a Vedge Team @spartan Sprint! ⚔️ This is what an awesome Vegan Lifestyle worth living looks like for me! YEEHAW!! 🤘🏼🐲🤘🏼 #vegan #veganfitness #veganbodybuilding #veganlifestyle

When I leveled up my Life & went 99% Vegan at the beginning of 2020 there was one aspect of my new lifestyle that wasn’t quite in line—my sports supplements. Specifically, my pre-workout stack. For months I tried a bunch of different Vegan Pre-Workout formulas from various companies but none of them hit like the non-vegan pre-workout I was taking so I kept going back it. This left me very conflicted. I even asked my wife if I could publicly say that I was Vegan if I was knowingly taking a supplement that was not 100% Vegan. Her response was “no.” And in my heart I knew she was right because that would be inauthentic. Then something amazing happened towards the end of 2020. I had recently become a Vedge Elite Athlete & to my great excitement they released a 100% Vegan Pre-Workout! And guess what…? It hit HARD! 👊🏼 It got me super amped to crush my workouts & I was regularly hitting new PRs! 📈 And there’s more! There was no crash afterwards and it tasted so good! Plus you can stack it with Nitro Pump which is the non-stimulant version of the Pre-Workout for a truly incredible pump! 💪🏼 And the best part for me? I finally got to say that I was 100% Vegan & feel super good about it! 🌱😇 The gains & newfound energy/pump have been a close second best part! 😅 I’ve been battleground testing the Vedge Pre-Workout & Nitro Pump for the last year with every single workout I do & I can honestly say that it’s the best pre-workout stack available—whether or not you are Vegan. Happy to report I’m in the best shape of my life too! It has science-backed dosing of high quality organic ingredients from trusted sourcing. This is key because there is so much fluff & BS in most supplements. Most products on the market have a sprinkle of an ingredient & that will have zero effect. So, if you’re looking to take your workouts & fitness to the next level with a product that you can trust get yourself the @vedgenutrition Pre-Workout / Nitro Pump stack & light yourself on FIRE!! 🔥 👉🏼Use code DRAGON at checkout to save! And to support your favorite Life Alchemist! 🙏🏼💗🐲 ➖➖➖ #vegan #veganfitness #calisthenics #preworkout #gymnasticsrings Title PC: @isaacgautschi

Having work that makes us come ALIVE is a must for truly living a life worth living for. The longer I live the more I’ve learned what type of work lights me on fire & what type of work sucks away my life force. Over the years & decades, it’s mostly been a trial & error process of discovering the type of work that sparks me. And while that process has worked, I wonder how much time I could have saved from toiling away at work that did not light me up. I also wonder how many other people spend years if not decades or lifetimes doing work that doesn’t really make them feel like they’re doing what they were meant to do. So, when I discovered that @jonathanfields has spent the last several years rigorously developing a body of work, framework & test that allows one to identify the type of work that makes us truly shine (inwardly & outwardly) I immediately dived into his work he has compiled & distilled in his new best-selling book “SPARKED: Discover Your Unique Imprint for Work that Makes you Come Alive!” Through Jonathan’s work, I discovered my primary & secondary Work Archetype, or what he calls one’s Sparketype, and it was so empowering that I cried (true story). It was like finally being able to name something that I could sense subconsciously just below the surface, but was always just out of my conscious grasp. Identifying, naming & deeply understanding my Sparketype felt like a homecoming. Like a return to my True Self. And when I looked back on all my years of work it was always when I was doing the work of my primary Sparketype that I felt most alive & that I was the most successful! Through very good fortune I will be sitting down with Jonathan Fields for a Live Webinar to share his Sparketype work with others and it will be FREE to all who attend thanks to my company @getgarten. I’m so excited to share this with more people because what the world needs right now is more people who have come alive! 🗓 The Free Webinar will take place this Thursday 10/14 at 12pm PST. 👉🏼 Space is Limited & Registration is Required so please signup at Garten.co or through the link in my bio. Hope to see you there! 🙏🏼💗🐉 #work #worklife

First time trying Vegan African American Fusion! Who else has tried it? The Phoenix Wife @carlylynwise surprised me this weekend with a Day Trip to Santa Cruz! We’re in the process of figuring out where we want to buy a home so we’ve been exploring different areas. We donned our hiking shoes & explored some of the neighborhoods as well as the beach while getting in our steps. Urban hiking in new areas is always a great way to spend the day in my Life Alchemist opinion. It’s an awesome way to get in movement, expand your mind, add novelty, fantasize about living in a new place, get into meaningful deep conversations w/ another & so much more! Apparently, there was an Ironman going on while we were there so that added to the fun & excitement! We finished up the urban hike w/ a Vegan Lunch at @veg_ontheedge! We enjoyed the Èfo O L’Ogede (Plantain Curry), the Śuyà Burger made w/ a @beyondmeat patty, & Cassava Fries. It was a super delicious & hearty meal that expanded our tastebuds’ horizons! 🙏🏼❤️‍🔥🐉 P.S. If you have any recommendations for great places to live w/ good year-round weather that support a holistic wellbeing & fitness lifestyle w/ good-to-decent vegan options I'd love to hear about it in the comments! Extra points if the cost of living is reasonable! ➖➖➖ #daytrip #santacruz #urbanhiking #veganfood #veganafricanfood #vegancouple #veganlifestyle #lifealchemist

Is rollerblading cool again? As a kid there were a few summers where I probably rollerbladed almost every single day. I loved it so much that I would spend entire days rollerblading all over town. One of my teachers still tells the tale of how I would rollerblade down Main Street like I owned the place. To this day my childhood rollerblading adventures hold a special place in my heart & I have scar that will never let me forget. For whatever reason rollerblading somehow became uncool by the time I entered high school & like most teenagers who are overly concerned about what others think I let my childhood blading joy whither & die. Sometime around 2010 this wildfire of a woman invited me to go rollerblading. At first, I resisted thinking & saying it wasn’t cool anymore. She persisted. Eventually I gave in, bought a pair of blades & got back out there with her. That childhood magic I thought had died years ago reignited within moments of the first few rollerblade strides I took. A huge goofy grin came over my face. A lightness appeared in my body & I began to flow again. It truly felt magical. Like dancing in space. Because of my wife @carlylynwise I’ve been rollerblading for the last decade plus & I stopped caring whether it was considered cool or not. It brings me massive joy. It brings out my inner child. It empowers my mind, body & spirit to free flow. And that is all that really matters. For our wedding we captured some of the Rollerblading Magic back in my hometown & I’d like to think we look cool AF! 🤘🏼❤️‍🔥🐉 ➖➖➖ PC: @brittanybrenske Frames: @endlessblading Boots: @frskates @intuitionliners @powerslidebrand #rollerblading #inlineskating #rollerblade #rollerblades

Labor Day 7-years ago would be the last time I had alcohol… Although at the time I didn’t know it. After getting way too drunk in Half Moon Bay with my then girlfriend (now wife) I spent the car-ride home throwing up out the side of the car. I was a fuckin’ mess. The next day I felt like shit. No surprise. @carlylynwise informed me that she was going to consciously take a month off from drinking & she asked me if I’d like to join her. In my misery I glumly agreed to join her. This was the first time since I had started drinking at the age of 20 that I consciously decide to take a break. The first month went well. So well in fact that I asked my partner if we could do a second month. The second month felt good too & I was starting to notice that my mood swings had began to really level out. I was no longer waking up feeling depressed & emotional for no identifiable reason. In fact, I was feeling so much better all-around than I had in years. Something I never could have even noticed before because I had never gone more than a week or two without drinking in the last 12 years. So naturally, at the end of month 2 of sobriety I proposed to my partner that we do a 3rd month. Like the trailblazer she is she responded with “how about we try being #sober for 1-year.” I was like “Whoa now! A whole year?! I’m going to have to think about that.” I said I’d continue to be sober while I mulled it over. I came to the conclusion that since I had spent 12-years drinking, often excessively, especially while working in Hollywood Nightlife, that I could take 1-year & dedicate it to being sober. I figured it would be good for my body & mind. So, about a week after her 1-year of sobriety proposal I accepted & we embarked on the #soberlife journey together. 7-years later we’re still going strong, completely sober from all drugs & alcohol & it has been one of the best life-decisions we’ve ever made. We found ourselves, each other, our success, our happiness, our health, & so much more! I am forever grateful to my Wife for paving the way for us. 🙏🏼🤍🐉 ➖➖➖ PC1: @avnicreates PC2/3: @saraknobelphoto Suit: @ezracayman #sobriety #sobercouple #soberliving

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